UNDERSTANDING

"What do girls do who haven't any
     mothers to help them through
              their troubles?"
                   Louisa Mae  Alcott





 


My life has been very common and simple. No sky
 diving, though I always wanted to try it. No hang gliding, no skiing down the snow covered mountains of Montana. Things I would dream of doing, thinking there was still time, I was young. Oh well, to late now. No crazy teenage years, more like focus and hard work to keep all the emotions in check. I found a man that loved me and we married. Very common, low key, small wedding because we didn't have much money. We both worked hard, bought a house and eventually started a family.  First a son then a daughter, I had no idea how to be a mother, I had no example to follow, but they where the loves of my life. That was the first time I understood why my mother did what she did. That was the first time in all those years that I wasn't mad at her any more. I don't know if I could ever sacrifice so much but I do know that I would do anything to protect my children. 
           

Changing the Name of This Blog

Just a short note to apologize for so many changes lately. I feel like I need to find just the right name to express where I am coming from. I think I have it right now.  More later, Annie

CONTINUING MY STORY

     As I said in my last post, my niece has inspired me to continue with my writing. Her posts are so open and honest and I know they are, in a way, cathartic for her. As I was writing about the day my mother died, which was the same day that I almost lost my life. In reliving that day it came to me that there was someone who carried me to safety. This person was only a voice to me and strong yet gentle arms that carried me out of the water to the shore and then was gone. I never saw a face and now the memory of the voice is fading.
     That is a day that replays in my mind almost daily. This is something that I have never talked to my children or husband about. I want to put it all down, document what it is that I can not forget and maybe come to accept it at long last. I relive being taken out of the water but it never before accrued to me who that person was or could be. No one ever came froward. For all I know it could have been my own mother. She had saved others that day before loosing her own life.
     There are people that say they feel a presence that helps or guides them from time to time and they call that their guardian angel and rightly so. I do believe there are those that help us through this life. Few get to actually meet them, I did and I know they are here with me still today. There have been many times when I have asked for help or strength and I know God has been there or sent my angel to help me. You just know it, you can feel the burden get a little lighter or your mind ease. Yep, that's God and his Angels at work.

A New Begining, Renewed Insperation, One's Faith in God

     I have recently been inspired by a very brave young individual that is enduring a major trial in her life. Her faith in God, love of her family and  an attitude of strength and to never give up has changed several lives. Many of us look in awe at how she is able to accept and keep on trying to maintain a normal life for her children and husband and those close to her.
     She is my niece, a few years younger than my own daughter and I can not imagine how she continues on. She has colon cancer, and has been through so much and so many times had high hopes that have been dashed. Like waves peaking ,with hopes of good news , then crashing to the rocks below with the not so good news.
     Her faith in the Lord carries her forward. Her faith that He will not forsake her and what ever His will is for her and her family she has accepted. He has a reason and she will be strong. She does not just sit by and wait, she is very active in her life and with her treatments. Her chemo is very devastating but she gets back up and goes, showing the forces that be that she will not give up.
     How many among us can say the same? We have so many issues in life that we think if we can't pay that bill or have that car, or dress or shoes, we just can't go on and we cry and moan over the slightest things. I am ashamed to think of the things I have complained about, how trivial.
     She has given me the inspiration to go back to my writing and in so doing my eyes have been opened to some realities that I never saw or thought of before. I believe I have met my guardian angel. I never really saw their face, only heard their voice and felt their arms as they carried me to safety. And I thank God for that. Because of that there have been many more lives that have been saved. Like a pebble dropped in a pond the ripple goes on and on.
     I will write more about me at another time but right now I wanted to make people aware of my nice. She also has a blog and her writing about her experience is inspiring. Please go to " thepaththatchoseme.blogspot.com "
   I am sure it will change your life.